My wife had an affair with her old boyfriend – can I still trust her?

MY wife lied and lied about what had happened with an old boyfriend from her schooldays. In the end it was her lover’s wife who told me it was a full-blown affair.

I’m 48 and my wife’s 46. We’ve just celebrated our silver wedding anniversary and had booked to go away for a week. The day before we were due to leave my wife rang me at work in tears. She said I needed to come home but didn’t say why.

I rushed home and she told me someone had put something on Facebook saying she’d had an affair. She said it wasn’t true but when I asked her if she’d been seeing someone, she said she’d met a guy for dinner.

He was an ex-boyfriend from years ago. She said they’d only had dinner, nothing more. She said she’d never do anything to hurt me or the kids – we’ve two teenage girls. We went on holiday that night and had a good time until the last night.

I couldn’t sleep. I kept wondering whether she was telling me the truth. The next morning I asked her if she’d slept with this guy and she admitted she had but just the once. I broke down in tears.

My wife received a text from her ex’s wife as soon as we got back home. She wanted to speak to my wife but my wife said she couldn’t face it so I rang her. She told me they’d been having an affair for six months starting last October and asked that my wife leave her husband alone.

My wife still tried to deny it at first but I cried and pleaded with her to be honest. We’ve talked, argued and cried but I still find it hard because I’m sure she hasn’t told me everything. She started going out “with a girlfriend” on Wednesday nights more than a year ago and that is when I now know she accepted this guy on Facebook.

I am heartbroken. It’s put a huge strain on our marriage.