It really shouldn’t be surprising, I guess. After all, if there was one universal life element that can bring two people from opposite ends of the world together, it would be sex. Intercourse. Coitus. Boinking. Insertion of the penis into the vagina. Procreation. Fornication. As part of the 30th Summer Games, each Olympic athlete will receive 15 free condoms bringing the prophylactic to a total of 150,000.
Hope Solo (who surely remembers me from 2009 when I interviewed her for St. Louis Sports Magazine) says there’s a lot of copulating going on: “‘There’s a lot of sex going on at the Olympics … I’ve seen people having sex out in the open, getting down and dirty on grass between buildings. I may have snuck a celebrity into my Beijing room without anybody knowing and snuck him back out. But that’s my Olympic secret.”
Hope Solo is a terrific American.
For a little background on condoms at the Olympics, see more from the UK Daily Mail: “Competitors sexual appetites seem to have soared since Seoul 1988, when just 8,500 condoms were made available. For Barcelona in 1992, that number leapt up to 50,000. In the 2000 Sydney Olympics, organisers had to order 20,000 more after the initial allocation of 70,000 ran out.However, the bed hopping may be slightly less frenetic with the London Games, since this year athletes’ partners will also be allowed into the Olympic Village for the first time.”
For the environmentally conscious, you can rest easy knowing that if any condoms are left over, there will likely be an auction for them. Before then, you and I can bet on whether the Olympics will run out of condoms.
OLYMPIC VOLUNTEERS GET SCREWED
While Olympic athletes will be pampered with sexual protection, the 400,000 staff members and volunteers won’t get a single prevention tool. They won’t even get paid, either. From Time Magazine
:
In lieu of payment for volunteers, they receive a schwag bag that includes “two polo shirts, two pairs of trousers, two pairs of socks, one jacket and one pair of trainers”—with “trainers” being British slang for shoes or sneakers. But that’s not all. “The kit includes a baseball cap, official Games time bag, water bottle, notepad, umbrella ‘just in case it rains’ and socks.”
At least they can use the socks for something.
CONDOMS OUTNUMBER BIBLES BY 146,000
According to the Australian-based Christian Today, some 4,000 scriptures will be available as well: “The Olympic Village Religious Services Centre will be handing out 3,000 copies of commemorative English-language Scriptures … Another 1,000 copies of Bibles and New Testaments will be available in other languages through partnerships with national Bible Societies around the world.”
29 year old virgin Lolo Jones will probably not be using any of the condoms. She’s still holding out. Unfortunately we can’t make a boatload of money betting that Lolo won’t use any. Oh well. U.S. men’s swimmer Ryan Lochte might be using them, however, as he and Australian swimmer Blair Evans were caught touching each other under water. They proceded to leave the pool deck together as well. Reporting live from the high dive diving board, I’m Pedro Gomez. #sportspaparazzi.
THE BRITISH OPEN
Who knew the people of jolly old England produced such beautiful Olympians. Here’s British track cyclist Victoria Pendleton in lingerie …
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SOURCE: Insidestl
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